from Three Plays by Pavlovsky
translated from Spanish and Adapted by Paul Verdier
Stages Theatre Press, Hollywood, CA 1994

Potestad/Paternity

by Eduardo Pavlovsky

The United States premiere of this English adaptation of Potestad/Paternity took place at Stages Theatre Center in Hollywood, California on May 28,1994, with following cast:

THE MAN      Joe Spano
TITA               Leslie Neale

Produced by Sonia Lloveras, the play was directed by Tony Abatemarco. The sets were designed by Jim Sweeters and the lights by Sindy Slater. The incidental music was composed by Ned Judy.

The Characters

THE MAN
TITA

The action takes place in Buenos Aires, in the late 1980's

The Set

Two chairs, side by side, on an empty stage.

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Lights on theMAN, his back to the audience. He slowly turns around and goes behind the chair to his right, then he looks at the audience.

THE MAN: Saturday, three thirty in the afternoon. I am sitting here. [He points to the right chair] Ana Maria, my wife, is sitting here. [He points to the left chair] About four feet ... four feet three inches away, diagonally across from the left leg of the couch, is sitting my daughter, Adriana. [He points with his right foot toward Adriana's place] The physical position of each member of the family is important because such

a physical position paints, evokes, suggests the relationship between the members of the family. The family ties.... [He repeats his movements] Saturday, three thirty in the afternoon. I am sitting here. Ana Maria, my wife, is sitting here. And there sits my daughter ... Adriana.

Pause.

My position, on this Saturday, three thirty in the afternoon:

He sits on the right chair and places his legs as he says.

Right leg at a 90 degree angle. Left leg at a 45 degree angle. With a distance of one and a half to two inches from the left heel to the floor. Right leg at a 90 degree angle. Left leg at a 45 degree angle. Even though this position would apparently seem natural and spontaneous, in no way is this position natural or spontaneous. It is perfectly studied, scientifically accomplished, arbitrarily researched and completely affected.... I was a great athlete. A rugby player. Second row forward. [Proudly] I was in great shape. I had an exceptional physique.... I'm 56 now, but I remember when I was 25 and a great rugby player.... On the lineout, I'd jump, [He jumps] I'd fly up and grab the ball in the air.... My wife would always come to the games to see me play. She'd watch me fly up in the air and catch the ball. As I was coming down, in mid-air, I'd look at her and she'd look at me. We'd look at each other and she'd go, "Ohhh!!... Ahhh!!"

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... almost an orgasm.... Oh, at that moment, that look, so particular to my wife, would give me such strength.... It would awaken my virility. I mean, it would impregnate me with masculinity. But that was when I was 25.... Now that I'm 56.... That look no longer has the same intensity, the same sensuality it had at the time.... It has lost its magnetic power. Oh, that moment when she would look at me and I would look at her.... That happens less and less now.... That's why my physical positions must be methodically studied, scientifically calibrated and very sophisticated in order to find the exact physical position that inspired my wife to look at me that way. I'm always trying to recreate that look of hers again.
So for instance, if on a Saturday at three thirty in the afternoon, the doorbell or the phone in my house were to ring, from this position, I would be able to get up like this. [He athletically gets up] Then I could make a movement to the left.... [He turns to the left] Or to the right. [He turns to the right] No, not that much.... There.

He silently repeats his movements.

I mean, it's a very clever movement, because it allows one to seem natural and spontaneous.... One can sit down like this, [He sits down] and get up like this. [He gets up] But one could also sit in a very casual way.... With no preparation.... No caution.... In a totally improvised manner.... Legs wide apart.... Like this.... [Hesits with his legs wide apart] We could call this a typically "portena" position. I mean like the people of Buenos Aires.... This position is very,

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very Buenos Aires. And were the doorbell or the phone to ring, from this position I could only get up like this. [He gets up] Ouch!!!

He bends over with pain.

Ouch.... Ouch! Pulled my back again.... And with my ass sticking out yet.... It would be hard to seduce your wife with your ass in this position.

Painfully trying to straighten up.

Easy.... That's it.... Very easy.... I try, therefore, to avoid any type of spontaneous physical position that would betray my age and decrepitude.... This last one is a position I avoid at all times.

He sits down.

So I try and study every single physical position that would help me recreate the image that made that woman fall in love with me: Right leg at a 90 degree angle. Left leg at a 45 degree angle. It's not so hard. A small price to pay in order to find the exact physical position for seducing the woman you love. But the truth is, whether I get up athletically or not ... She doesn't move ... She doesn't even look at me. And here I must confess something very embarrassing.... I often have a feeling of humiliation.... In the afternoon.... When I spend the whole afternoon deciding. ... Do I get up? Or don't I get up.... I'm getting up! I'd better sit down!

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He half gets up and then sits down.

Sometimes I get cramps.... I feel humiliated ... humiliated by the fact that she doesn't even notice that I've got cramps ... that my back hurts ... that my foot hurts.... She doesn't even notice the effort I'm making to attract her attention. So I feel terribly humiliated.... Before I needed the presence of somebody to feel humiliated. Now I feel humiliated all by myself.

Long pause.

It's amazing how in life when we analyze each small gesture, each daily arbitrary gesture. It all seems funny.... I mean, we laugh at the absurdity of our daily routine.... When we divide, when we fragment, everything becomes so funny.... The problem is when we try to join ... to connect ... that's when tragedy appears ... the human tragedy in all its magnitude.... The tragedy of man facing his own dimension.... But we laugh when we fragment, when we disconnect, when we carefully isolate each small gesture ... each detail... each daily movement.

Pause. He sits on the other chair.

The physical position of Ana Maria, my wife, on this Saturday afternoon:
Her right leg at a 45 degree angle, her left leg at a 45 degree angle. Her knees closed tight together.... She studies English.... That wouldn't bother me if it weren't for those horrible earphones she wears on

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her ears.... [With his hands, he covers his ears} She studies English the entire afternoon. I have nothing against English.... She can study it as many hours as she wants to.... The problem is that during all that time, sometimes until eight o'clock in the evening, she never takes those damned things off.... She could at least around five thirty, six o'clock, take those damned things off.... [He uncovers his ears} Take them off and look at me.... Look at me and smile.... Smile and tell me ... "Ohhh!.... There you are my darling !" But that never happens ... because she never takes those monstrous, damned things off! She keeps them on!

Pause.

There is also the story of the knees: right leg at a 45 degree angle ... left leg also at a 45 degree angle ... and the knees closed tight together.... Some years ago ... oh, about ... ten ... twelve years ago.... This knee-game in our marriage was a very simple one. [He opens and closes his knees} They would open and close with an extreme facility, with an extreme elegance.... Since I became 45, 46 years old, to open those knees I'd need a crowbar.... It's become very difficult... extremely difficult... almost impossible.

Long pause. He looks at Ana Maria's chair.

The story of the tightly closed knees is also the story of our couple.... The story of our love.... The story of our lives. I often ask myself, "God! What is it about Ana Maria that aggravates me so much?" And

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I realize that it's her autonomy.... Yes, that's it. That autonomy she possesses.... That independence of hers drives me crazy.... That capacity she has of being so totally independent of me! Right next to me! Almost glued to my side ... all Saturday long.... She goes on with her English, while I spend the whole afternoon deciding:
He gets up and sits down again.
I'm getting up. I'm not getting up! I'm getting up. I'm not getting up! Christ! How dependent I am....

He goes and sits in Adriana's place.

Now, the physical position of my daughter Adriana:
Let's see.... Yes, she studies history. She places herself in this position. Left leg ... the heel of the left leg on top of the right side of her groin.... Yes. Heel of left leg over right side of groin.... This would seem an awkward position. Uncomfortable for most people because it would give them cramps. I mean this really is a difficult position. Only Adriana and myself can take this position gracefully around here ... without contracture, without knee problems. It comes naturally to both of us. She learned it from me.

Pause.

She studies history. At about roughly three forty-five, Adriana makes a movement, she turns around

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to look behind her. She turns like this and looks at me.... And I hear her say, "Daddy, only you and I can sit like this...." And she repeats, "Daddy, you and me, we are the only ones who sit this way...." She studies history. [Pause] Around four o'clock, maybe ten past four... she makes another lovely movement that goes from here to here ... like this and she says, "I adore you daddy ... adoreyoudaddy ... adoreyoudaddy ... adoreyoudaddy.... I adore you."

Long pause.

It's amazing how the repetition of each gesture, each minute detail seems funny to us.... But when we become conscious of the whole, of the totality.... It all turns tragic.... Tragic.

He returns to his chair.

Saturday. Six thirty in the afternoon....

Long pause.

Around six forty-five, or there abouts, the doorbell of my house rang. A thing that made me profoundly happy because it gave me the chance to elegantly jump from my chair.... Yes!!!?

He energetically gets up.

At the sound of the bell, I athletically got up, like this. Almost like on the lineout. Yes!!!? My wife went on with her English. She didn't even look at me. I

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then made a first move in this direction. And I arrived here.

He moves to an imaginary front door, and from there, he will play the visitor and himself.

I casually opened the door here.... Yes, here I opened the door. And I found myself face to face with a very well dressed guy, a very "classy" guy.... It's hard to define what a classy guy is.... But when a classy guy has class.... Lots and lots and lots of CLASS.... There's nothing better. Classy people are hard to imitate. I mean, they make such special hip and shoulder moves.... Very angular.... A real classy guy. Well dressed. Elegant. Polo player type. Smelling like the best Buenos Aires schools: Champagnat College or Lasalle.... Your own classic Ivy League type.... What a look! I mean he looked every bit of what makes people with class look "classy." Right?

He imitates the gestures of the classy guy.

They make such striking movements with their hands.... They place one on top of the other, like this.... Very, very refined.... And that little glance.... With their eyes like this....

Imitating the voice of the classy guy.

"Good evening, Sir." he said. I looked at him and I was mesmerized. He had pale green eyes ... was impeccably dressed, blue jacket, gray flannel pants.... "Good evening, Sir. I'd like to talk to your daughter

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Adriana for ten little minutes. Ten little minutes and no more.... I'd like to talk to your daughter Adriana for ten little minutes.... Afterwards we'll talk to you and your wife. All right?" I was fascinated by his manners. Because classy people do a very lovely thing.... No, in fact, they do two lovely things. One is the way they have of extending their hand like this ... then retracting it like this ... that harmony in their body language.... Hrnmm.... Nice, isn't it? The other lovely thing they do is that they never look you in the eye. They look here. And they look there. But no.... Oh, no.... They never look you in the eye while they talk to you. Since I have a tremendous admiration for classy people, almost an impossible love for them.... When he talked to me that way, I became "mimetic" and I told him:

He imitates the classy guy.

"If you want to talk to my daughter Adriana, you'll have to talk to me and to my wife first.... All right?"
He, of course, noticed I was imitating him. I mean, I had just done what they do so well. I had talked to him without looking him in the eye. I had imitated him! "If you want to talk to my daughter Adriana..." He looked at me, still avoiding my eyes, with that superiority that only very well-bred people are capable of.... But without overdoing it. Just a glance.... I suddenly had a feeling of defeat ... an unmasked defeat because he saw that I was imitating him. I was trying to read the hidden intensity contained in his words.... It was then that he abruptly told me: "Please, Sir, let's make one thing perfectly clear, times

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have changed. Please, calm down. Times have really changed! Things aren't like before! Things really aren't like BEFORE!"

But since I am dyslexic, I sometimes lose the sense of time and space. I realize now that by "before! BEFORE!" he was referring to a preceding time period. That we had the BEFORE, the NOW, and the AFTER.... But because of my dyslexia, I live in an altered temporal process, I got stuck in the BEFORE.... Anyway, I confronted him and told him, "Before or now or after, I'm still her FATHER! I'm still her FATHER!!!" I... I... I finally became cacophonous. And here something astonishing happened. He looked at Ana Maria and then he looked at me. And he understood everything. Everything of my relationship with Ana Maria. Only one look at us and he understood it all. Absolutely all of it. He said nothing.... But I saw it in his eyes. He was telling me: "Poor guy.... It's all right.... At our age.... We all have the same problem.... What can we do? We're so dependent on women!" But with no words, only gestures, very minute gestures.... Without even looking at me.

Pause.

It's incredible that at my age, I still make such efforts to look macho ... and then suddenly a guy who doesn't know me, a guy I've never seen before in my life ... suddenly understands my whole relationship with my wife.... In one second he understood it all. Without even looking at me. I was expecting her to say, "I am her mother!" She still hadn't noticed anything.... She was studying English! I again

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felt humiliated! Humiliated but also very moved. Such understanding and compassion from that guy had moved me deeply.... I was so terribly moved that I felt like embracing him. So few men had understood me like he did. I must confess I even had an impluse to kiss him!

He rounds his lips in a kissing position.

But not a faggot kiss! Oh, no! A manly kiss.... A macho kiss! But here again I was wrong, because I had forgotten that classy people do not touch one another. Nor do they let anyone else touch them. Those people have a tremendous ability to move around without ever touching anyone! With great elegance he moves from here and crosses in front of me, making this very aesthetic gesture here....
He mimics how the classy guy avoids his kiss and how gracefully the guy moves toward Adriana.
After he avoided my kiss, I was left standing here, feeling very rejected ... blushing terribly ... ashamed of my impulse to kiss him!

He returns to his chair.

He is here ... with his left hand stretched like this.... I don't recall exactly what happens at that moment.... I know that his left hand goes toward Adriana.... But I can't remember where Adriana is at this point.... I can't picture her.... I only know that he's here....

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He goes and sits on Ana Maria's chair and mimics the action.

Ana Maria is sitting here, three to four feet away from him. When she sees him moving toward Adriana, she finally realizes what's happening, takes off her earphones and jumps in an attempt to push him away. Having guessed Ana Maria's move, he does this, this and this. Ana Maria misses him and boom! Her face.hits the wall! And he ends up here...Yes here.... Exactly here.... And Adriana.... God, now I remember.... She's standing there.... That's when he takes her right hand....

He mimics the classy guy and Adriana, hand in hand, going toward the front door and finally going out.

First I see Adriana's right hand here.... Then his left hand here holding Adriana's hand.... The right hand of Adriana.... Now Adriana turns her head and looks at me.... She looks at me and says, "I love you, Dad. I love you, Dad. I love you...." Then there was a continuous motion, an aesthetic harmony in them both as they glided by.... Yes, harmony.... No violence, no aggression. None... really none. No violation, nothing. There was even intimacy. Everything gliding. Right hand here.... Left hand here.... Hands. When Adriana and the man pass in front of me on their way to the front door, I move forward. My first spontaneous move of the day. But I'm stopped when a second man appears and blocks my path. He blocks me at the very moment I move toward Adriana to stop her. I see Adriana being taken away. The second

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man is still blocking me. "Please, Sir! Times have changed. Times have really changed! Things aren't like before! Things really aren't like BEFORE!"

The other man continues taking Adriana away.... She gets closer and closer to that door.... "Please, Sir! Times have changed. Things aren't like before! Things really aren't like BEFORE!" "We're going to talk to your daughter for ten little minutes. All right? Then we'll talk to you and your wife. All right? Ten little minutes. All right?" At the door there is a last move from Adriana. She turns around and looks at me, "Good-bye, Dad! Good-bye, Dad.. .Good-bye..." I have trouble remembering the rest.... I only see a series of blurred images.... I think I was sitting here....

He returns to his chair and mimics his and Ana Maria's motions after Adriana has been taken away.

Yes, I'm sitting here. I know-there is a look from Ana Maria over there.... We look at each other. Only as a couple can look at one another, deeper than ... deeper than....
I don't remember how or when Ana Maria came and sat next to me. What I do remember is that her right hand is here. That my left hand is here. like this. Yes.... Yes, here it is. The hand.... I take her right hand with my left hand. I press her hand. It's like a ceremony. A ritual of pain. A ritual of silence ... no words ... no prayers.... That's all we had left. Nothing more.... Nothing. Oh, God! Two hands holding one another and a wall of silence between us. And then I discover that this woman is my wife.... My wife.... And we had both watched as they took our daughter Adriana away....

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Lights fade to black. When they come back, TITA and THE MAN are sitting next to one another. Pause.

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THE MAN: You know Tita, Ana Maria and I were a couple who loved one another very much. But a sad couple. Sad and resigned. Always waiting for that special gift that was never coming. Paralyzed by that illusion. We had exhausted every possible medical treatment. But we both stubbornly kept that hope alive. We were a resigned couple. But deep inside, we each had that secret illusion. But we didn't share the secret of that illusion.... We never talked about it.... We had exhausted the capacity of sharing anything ... even the pain. That's why when the date approached each month.... Oh, God! We were expecting a miracle to happen. But without words. In silence....

Pause.

And then Tita, there was the arrival of Adriana! It completely changed our marriage. Adriana transformed the sad couple into a new happy couple.... They have taken our life away, Tita! They have taken it away!

Pause.

It's so painful for me to talk about it, Tita. Very painful. And yet, I need so badly to tell you all this. I wanted very much to talk to you. But it's hard to get some words out of my mouth. It's too painful. I can't talk to Ana Maria anymore. I can't talk to her! It's unbelievable that at a moment like this, when we should be so close Ana Maria and I, closer than ever, we avoid one another, Tita! We don't even look at each other! We can't stand looking at each other face to face. It's like I'm living in a dream, Tita. I some-

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times have the feeling that the front door is going to open and Adriana will walk in, like she did after school every day.... They have taken our life away, Tita. They have taken it away.... I'm so torn apart inside.... I feel so empty. Nothing means much to me anymore, Tita.... And this desperation of imagining a life without my child. Of not knowing how to go on living without my little girl.... At least before we had our hope and our illusions. Now we are left with only a memory. With no more hope ... no more illusions.... I loved Adriana more than anyone in the world. I have never loved that much in my entire life. Never! And they stole her from me, Tita! They stole her from me with lies. With clever lies that only those people are capable of fabricating, turning good into evil, justice into injustice! When their calumnies begin to spread, nothing can stop them! All values are reversed! I always thought that evil was an abstraction. A theory. But when I see it incarnated in people of flesh and blood, in people who shout, laugh, gesticulate, insult, and persecute, Tita. As if they were born for no other reason than that: to persecute! Then I revolt! I'm enraged!

Pause.

I never told you how they took Adriana from us, Tita. It was a Saturday afternoon. We were sitting there, Adriana, Ana Maria and I. There was a knock at the door. Two guys show up. Well-dressed. In their suits and ties. Polite. Bureaucrats. Shitty bureaucrats. They showed us some papers. They had a legal file.
Oh, Tita, I feel so empty. You know, at a time like this we hold onto memories, onto images. We grab

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each one of them and try.to fix them inside our minds. Each one.... Each one.... Each one. On Sunday mornings, Ana Maria and I, we would read the papers in bed. Around ten o'clock our little girl would come in, get into the bed between the two of us. But she never asked like most children would, "Daddy, Mommy, Daddy, Mommy, when are we going out?" No, she would let us finish reading the papers.... Waiting quietly.... Very quiet.... Oh, she was so tender and cuddly.... After a while, Ana Maria would put a pretty little dress on her.... And the three of us would go out.... We would take her to Don Ignacio's for breakfast.... You know where Don Ignacio's is, Tita, don't you? Tita? Tita? Tita! Tita!

Tita doesn't look at him.

We would take her by the hand and walk, Ana Maria on the right, our little Adriana in the middle and I on the left.... We had to walk slowly because of her little steps.... As soon as we got close to Don Ignacio's, he'd see us and come out on the sidewalk yelling, "Croissants with butter and jelly for little Adriana! Croissants with butter and jelly for little..."
TITA: [Shouting} I heard you! I heard you! Pause.
THE MAN: Afterwards we'd go for a walk ... Tita. Sometimes to the amusement park and ride the carousel.... Sometimes to the riverside at "El Tigre".... Sometimes to Ezeiza Airport to watch the planes take off.... You can't imagine the infinite patience that Ana Maria

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had with our little girl... infinite. As if she had stored up all her love during all those years of hope to pour it all out at once on that child....

Pause.

Don Ignacio came to see me one day.... He loved our child so much. Two weeks after they took her away he came to see me. He knocked at the door. I opened. He looked at me. We hugged each other. He began to cry. The old man was sobbing and hugging me very tight. I too began to cry. We were both crying and hugging tightly.... Two men crying.... Without talking.... But understanding and sharing a huge sense of loss.... The same sense of loss I had when I lost my mother....
TITA: [Standing up] Mother! [She slowly sits down again] Mother, mother....

pause.

THE MAN: Since they took our child away, Ana Maria barely eats. She's a shadow of herself, Tita.... She's losing her mind. She, who was so supportive, so strong. It was too brutal. Too sudden. Too much of a blow really horrible. I have to force her out of Ailri.iiu's room. She locks herself in there ami talks, talks, talks.... As if she were talking to our little girl. Sometimes at night she gets up and wanders arouml the* house repeating, "It can't be. It can't be!"
They've left us alone, Tita. All alone In this fucking country. In this country of cowards. In this country of traitors, Tita! They've left us all alone, TITA!

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Nobody came to see us! In this country of bastards, nobody came, Tita. They've left us alone. Alone.... Shh! Shh! It's Ana Maria, Tita! I know it's her! Shh!
You know I never took sleeping pills, Tita.... Now every night I take something to try to sleep.... Because I can't stand the smell of tears in our wet sheets.. .The smell of Ana Maria's tears, crying for that child. I can't stand those tears anymore. They disgust me! Their smell disgusts me! That bed wet with tears disgusts me! So I leave it.... I have to leave that bed and the stink of tears.... I go to the living room.... Take two pills.... And as soon as I start dozing off Adriana's smiling face appears.... I have then the impression that it had all been only a nightmare. And I begin telling her how they had come looking for her and how they had taken her away.... And I begin crying.... I don't know if from pain or from joy.... Since they took her away I've had the same dream every night. During the dream I'm aware that I am dreaming, but I cheat, Tita. I tell myself that it's real, that it's not a dream ... and I try to freeze that moment so I can keep the image of my child for a few more seconds. Only a few more seconds. To see her face for a little longer. Just an instant. But then, little by little, her face begins to fade away.... Green.... Yellow.... Blue.... White.... And I wake up to my loneliness again.

Pause.

Twenty days before they took her away, we had a party for Adriana. All her school friends came. Ana Maria had made a ton of "empanadas," you know how

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she is. I was sitting in a corner eating empanadas and drinking some wine.... Watching the kids play, when Ana Maria came and told me, "When the parents come to pick up their kids, try and make an effort. Don't stay all shy in your corner.... Be a little more sociable. At least talk to the fathers for a while....""The fathers...."
You know, Tita, that's true. I'm basically very shy.... Oh, you know me so well. Nobody knows me better than you, Tita. Don't you agree?

TITA doesn't look at him.

Among Adriana's friends, there was a redheaded girl. When her father came to pick her up, he began to talk about soccer. About the River Plate team. That's my team, Tita! So we began talking about them.... Their ups and downs ... and their days of glory.... The good old days.... Ana Maria looked at me as if to say, "So now you are talking!" And it was true. Soccer was the only thing I would talk about.... I never talked about politics. The father of the redhead proposed to see a match together. He promised to call me to make arrangements....

Long pause.

A few days after they took our girl, I went to Don Pace's pharmacy.... You know where Don Paco's is, Tita, don't you? Three blocks down the street to the right. Remember?

TITA still doesn't look at him.

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I went to buy some aspirin. As I was paying I looked around and I saw the father of the redhead, almost next to me. So I looked at him and started to say: "Hi! How are...!!!?" He ignored me, Tita! The son . of a bitch ignored me! He was afraid. Afraid of maybe compromising himself! He began looking at the displays and avoided me.. .The same one who had been to my house! The big fan of the River Plate soccer team! They're all bastards! All bastards and cowards! That's why, Tita, when Ana Maria told me that you'd called and were coming to see me.... I thought: "She's the only real friend I have.... She never changes." You're always there when I need you.... And I'm also there when you need me. We support each other because we are not afraid. Because we are not cowards!

Hushing as if he hears someone coming.

Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! The other day the phone rang twice, Tita. Each time we answered, no one was at the other end. Ana Maria thought that it was our little girl.... That she was being watched.... That she could hear but could not talk to us.... Ana Maria went crazy. "My baby! My baby! My baby! What are they doing to you? They're hurting you, aren't they? We miss you! We miss you! We miss you!" She was hysterical, Tita. I took the phone from her, "Hello, Adriana? Mommy and Daddy are here, darling.... Don't say a thing, just listen. Listen to what I have to tell you. I don't know what lies they've told you.... But you should not believe them. Don't believe them! Don't say a thing, darling, just listen to what I say.

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Your Mommy and Daddy are here, waiting for you.. .They only think of you ... and they are waiting ... waiting ... waiting for you." Adriana....

A few rushing, incoherent, memories:

The other day they came to look for her.... I'd like to talk to your daughter, Adriana.... I am her father.... Ten little minutes.... In silence.... Times have changed.... The right hand here.... Things aren't like they were before.... Goodbye, daddy.... Goodbye, daddy.... Goodbye....
I always thought that this could happen someday, Tita. But I never imagined that it would be like this. That brutal. That sudden. All at once.... These things only happen to others... to others.... Never to us.... If we had known, I think we would have acted

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differently.... We would have talked to Adriana. We would have warned her.... I often think that we may have made a mistake somewhere, Tita.... That we were wrong. That we should have told her everything.... I seldom talk to Ana Maria now ... maybe once a day. Just once! Then I ask her: "Where did we go wrong with that child, Ana Maria.... Don't you think we should have told her the truth?" But she doesn't answer, Tita. She doesn't talk, doesn't eat, doesn't sleep, doesn't laugh.... Little by little she's losing her mind.... I'm afraid that soon she'll go totally mad! I'm afraid for her, Tita, but I'm also afraid for myself.... Sometimes I think that it'd be better if something happened to the two of us.... I'm embarrassed to tell you, Tita, but I'm afraid that you'd also go away.... That you'd also leave me all alone.... Alone with Ana Maria.... I already feel so lonely, so hopeless with her, Tita.... I have to go to work.... But I can't leave her alone. I can't leave her here all by herself! Oh, Tita, I've got so much hatred, so much resentment! They've left us all alone.... But you, Tita, please don't go away! Don't go away and leave me here! For God's sake, don't leave me! I'm afraid! I'm afraid you'll leave me alone with her.... With Ana Maria! I'm afraid she'll suddenly go insane before my very eyes! Shhh! Shhh!

He goes upstage. Abruptly, his back to the audience, he takes the position of someone being frisked; hands up high touching the wall, legs apart, his body away from the wall. Sound grows more specific and eventually louder. A woman's scream. Sound of a 45 gun shot, woman's scream stops. A man's scream. Sec-

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and gun shot and then silence. THE MAN turns around and walks toward TITA.

You know, Tita, our child suffered a lot. First the story of her parents.... And now this.... You know how I met Adriana's parents, Tita? The father ... he had a huge hole here, in the frontal bone.... It was awesome ... four inches ... here ... really awesome! He also had an opening in the molar, right orbicular fossa, labial commissure.... You could see the floor of his mouth.... I had never seen so many holes in a face. And his parietal bone was wide open, with encephalic matter coming out. It was awesome! And the mother, they had shot her with a .45, here. While she was still in bed.... She had no more face left.... No more face at all, Tita.... Only a cavity. You could barely see a bit of an eye left, here.... It was awesome! Neither of them had any face left. None! The guys had called me to check if they were still alive.... Nice job being a doctor, hey Tita?

He laughs. She looks away.

Yeah, the guys called me to check if they were still alive. It was a Sunday afternoon, at 2031 Amenabar Street. I put on my white coat, I grabbed my blood pressure gauge, a gift from my father.... Remember, Tita, the instrument father gave me for my graduation ?

He laughs.

Nice job being a doctor, hey Tita? I got into the

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car.... Arrived there at five twenty-five P.M. There were two guys standing in the window. I rang the doorbell. A third guy came out, with a gun in his hand, covered with blood.... He said: "Good afternoon, doctor! "Yes?"
"We need you to check if the lady has passed away, because a moment ago she was still screaming..."
I looked toward the bed.... A small arm dangling. She had no face left, Tita. Just a big hole like this, here....
"You want me to examine the lady?" "Yes. We need you to certify her death." Nice job being a doctor, hey Tita? The guy walked over and joined the other two. The room was covered with blood. There was blood on the door, on the floor, on the ceiling, on the windows. ... The three guys leaning on a window, watching me.... I took this small arm and checked her blood pressure, with dad's graduation present.... "Zero!" I said. "The lady is deceased." "That's what we thought but we wanted you to make sure. Now, we need your death certificate. Sign here, please. Thank you, Doctor. Have a nice day."
They clicked their heels and left, Tita.... They left me alone there. You know, Tita, Adriana's father and mother were real fanatics! Those sons-of-bitches were true terrorists! If you didn't blow them to pieces in bed, they would blow you to pieces! They'd blow up your entire house! They were both lying there.... I got close to the bed.... They were very young. They were so terribly young"...

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I was alone, there, with their bodies.... Then, Tita, I heard like a faint crying coming from the other room.... I opened the door and I saw this little girl there! Those bastards! They had their little girl with them ... there. Had she seen anything? Had she heard any of it? How old could Adriana have been? One and a half ... maybe two years old.... And it was a miracle! A miracle of God! So many years waiting for this.... Thank you, God! Thank you! Who would take better care of you than Ana Maria and I, eh? We've waited so many years for you! I grabbed the little girl and took her to the car. She was looking at me with those big pale blue eyes...She kept looking at me. I was driving like a mad man.... And I took her to Ana Maria... when she opened the door: "Ana Maria! Ana Maria! Don't say a thing. This child is ours, Ana! This little girl is ours! Don't ask anything! Don't ever ask me anything! I earned her! I, I earned her! I did! This child is ours. I earned her, all alone. I did! This child is ours. I earned her. I did! Me! Me! She's our daughter! Ours!!! Shhh! Shhh! Don't ask any questions! Don't ever ask me any questions! Never! Ever!"
We taught her right away how to say mommy and daddy. She needed so much love, Tita! And we were so eager to give her that love.... Oh God, yes! Those times were really hell, Tita. Violence all around. Every day people would go out and blow each other to pieces in those bloody streets.... And now, Tita.... Now each time the telephone rings, I know it's Adriana. But she's being watched! So she can't talk to us. But she can hear us....
"Hello, Adriana? Don't say anything, my darling. Just listen.... Listen carefully. I want you to know that

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your mom and your dad are here, praying for you, everyday. Praying for you and for us.... We have to be very patient, Adriana. Very, very patient.... Because if things continue to improve and God willing, the three of us will be together again.... If things continue to improve and God willing, the three of us will be together again soon...." Soon.... Soon.... Soon.... Soon....

BLACK OUT