from A Time... And a Season, 8 Caribbean Plays
Selected and Edited by Errol Hill
Extramural Studies Unit, University of the West Indies, Trinidad, 1976

THE FUNERAL

ENRIQUE BUENAVENTURA

CHARACTERS

(in order of appearance)

Nicanor
Four Women
Majordomo
Colonel
Cardinal
Minister
President
4 Soldiers
Peasant
Servants

p197

THE FUNERAL

The scene is a large attic. A n enormous doll is suspended from above. The right hand of the swollen doll hangs down limply, its fingers covered with rings. Nicanor is standing one some boxes with a handkerchief to his nose, looking at the doll. He is trying to hear whether the doll is making any noise.

NICANOR: No, no change. She's taking her time. (Slowly he starts to count money. Four women are weeping, handkerchiefs to their noses.)
1ST WOMAN: Have we run out of cologne?
2ND WOMAN: There's just a drop. And there's more in the drugstore.
3RD WOMAN: What a smell!
4TH WOMAN: Sssh! Hail Mary, full of grace etc. (They go on praying in a tow voice.)
NICANOR: Homer,
MAJORDOMO: Yes, sir.
NICANOR: Are the fumigators still going?
MAJORDOMO: Yes, sir. There are fumigators all over the place, burning day and night.
NICANOR: And still the smell won't go
MAJORDOMO: The worst thing is the buzzards. There's a black cloud of them blotting out the sun. They can gobble up the corpses in the twinkling of an eye ... (Pause.) I'd like to ask you something ...
NICANOR: Ask away.
MAJORDOMO: Are they killing servants?
NICANOR: Only the suspicious ones. We're in danger, great danger, Homer.

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MAJORDOMO: I know. I haven't been so afraid since the time of the thousand day's war.
NICANOR: We may lose everything. The devil may walk off with everything.
MAJORDOMO: Like in the thousand-days war . . .?
NICANOR: Worse. (Pause.) It's not just anyone that's dying, Homer.
MAJORDOMO: (To the audience, as if talking of God) It's the Senora.
NICANOR The Senora, the Grande Dame, the Great Mother. Your natura mother, my legal mother, mother to the family and stepmother to the others
. . . when she falls, when her last hour comes . . .
MAJORDOMO : She won't fall, Nicanor.
NICANOR: Everything falls, Homer. Everything comes to an end one day. Everything has its hour . . . (Pause.) Have we got enough men at the ready?
MAJORDOMO: Yes.
NICANOR: Chosen men, prepared for anything?
MAJORDOMO: They're all dangerous men.
NICANOR: We're in danger, Homer. Grave danger. When you're in danger you have to become dangerous and surround yourself with dangerous men
MAJORDOMO: They might turn out to be crows who'll poke our eyes out later.
NICANOR: (With a bitter smile) When we're dead. (Pause)
MAJORDOMO: What a stink.
NICANOR: Yes, it's almost unbearable. Don't let them put the fumigators out. (Pause.)
1ST WOMAN: Tell us the story of the old woman's marriage.
4TH WOMAN: You know it already.
2nd WOMAN: That doesn't matter.

p199

3RD WOMAN: Tell it.
4TH WOMAN: I've told it a thousand times.
1st WOMAN: Everything's the same.. Every thing is known, every thing's forgotten, everything begins again.
2ND WOMAN: Why?
3RD WOMAN: Because everything's the same. .
1ST-.WOMAN: Nothing changes.
4TH WOMAN: Her husband was tall.
2ND WOMAN: He was fat.
3RD WOMAN: He dragged his two spurs across the valley like flaming suns and tried out his rifles on the slaves.
1SJJVOMAN: He was a patriarch.
2ND WOMAN: He was an archbishop.
3RD WOMAN: Some say he was Pope.
4TH WOMAN.: He was a general.
1ST WOMAN: He was President.
2ND WOMAN: He was a founding father.
4TH WOMAN: And the old woman was a virgin when she married, suckled all her'offspring her self and remained a virgin. Without being penetrated, without being soiled for ever and ever.
ALL: Amen.
NICANOR: These people are paying less and less, almost nothing.
MAJORDOMO: (Trying to see the book of accounts) It's because of the drought two years ago.

p200

NICANOR: We're not concerned with droughts. The lands are leased on the understanding that they're looked after properly. When the time of the fat cows come they milk them to the last drop.
MAJORDOMO: Besides, many of them are frightened and just abandon the lands.
NICANOR: Which are then leased out to others.
MAJORDOMO: I don't like what's happening.
NICANOR: (Forcefully) Neither do I. But it must be done. We're in grave danger.
MAJORDOMO: I've got children, grandchildren and brothers in service.
NICANOR: They must be sacrificed. I also am fond of them. They've worked for me.
MAJORDOMO: Everything was so simple before. People accepted death. They bowed their heads before the inevitable.
NICANOR: Times change.
MAJORDOMO: That's right.
NICANOR: Soak my handkerchief. Turn up the fumigators. Chase away the buzzards. (The Majordomo goes out)
4TH WOMAN: From here to the high altar they laid out two hundred yards' of matting.
2ND WOMAN: She had dispensation from the archbishop not to have to kneel down at the moment of elevation so as not to spoil her gown with its Dutch gauze flounces or her starched lace petticoat.
3RD WOMAN: Under the dusty almond trees they set up stalls selling candies and knick-knacks.
1ST WOMAN: The whole town got drunk.
3RD WOMAN: They slaughtered seventy calves in the public square;

p201

4TH WOMAN: The band played quadrilles, reels, pasillos, waltzes.
(The 3rd Woman hums a waltz. Slowly, as if in a dream the 2nd Woman begins to dance.)
4TH WOMAN: Sssh! Don't dance. We're in mourning.
(2nd Woman sits down and weeps quietly.)
1ST WOMAN: At the far end of the ballroom beneath streamers of coloured paper, in an easy-chair with large canvas cushions, sat the Senora.
3RD WOMAN: The great lady.
1ST WOMAN: The Mother.
4th WOMAN: From time to time she ordered coins to be tossed to the crowd straining against the windows, and then she would fold her hands again.
5TH WOMAN: Her soft white hands ... (Pause. They look up at the dangling hand)
2ND WOMAN: Look at her rings. I'm having the one with the emeralds. She bid she would leave it to me.
4TH WOMAN: That one's for the eldest, if you don't mind.
3RD WOMAN: Mine's the diamond on the little finger.
1ST WOMAN: Mine's the ruby on the third finger.
(They all try to reach the hand by clambering on to the boxes)
2ND WOMAN: Let's go.
3RD WOMAN: That's mine.
1st WOMAN: Thief.
4TH WOMAN: (Separating them.) Wait a moment.
1ST WOMAN: She's going to grab them all.

p202

2ND WOMAN: Miser.
1ST WOMAN: Let go, you stingy old
3RD WOMAN: You're not getting anything. You're a bastard
2ND WOMAN: The inheritance only goes to the legitimate ones.
3RD WOMAN: Shut up! Your mother was the only whore in the family.
2ND WOMAN: What do you mean the only one? All the whores round here come from the family.
1ST WOMAN: They're not family. They're the outcasts - scum, muck, filth.
4TH WOMAN: (Waving a stick as she stands on top of the boxes) Get back, go away, you daughters of the great whore.
NICANOR: Silence! I'll shoot the first one who touches the old lady's hand. (He draws his revolver. The frightened women fall back.) Her last hour has not yet come, she hasn't yet fallen and already you can't wait to rob her. Hyenas. Not one item of the inheritance will be touched without my consent. Now pray!
4TH WOMAN: Hail Mary, full of grace etc. .
(In the distance the beating of a drum is heard. It gets closer, and people can be heard marching. Four soldiers enter, armed to the teeth. They are commanded by Colonel Belarmino, with enormous moustaches covered with ashes, and a death mask.)
NICANOR: Belarmino. (The Colonel salutes, then they embrace and kiss each other on the cheeks.)
COLONEL: Has your mother's last hour come yet?
NICANOR: No, not yet.
COLONEL: She's beginning to smell, what?
NICANOR: It's almost unbearable. Homer, sprinkle some cologne on to Belarmino's handkerchief.

p203

COLONEL: It's quite all right. I'm used to it.
NICANOR: Bring him a handkerchief soaked in eau-de-cologne. You'll find it refreshing. (Pause.) You've got blood on your uniform.
COLONEL: I've had it since the Conservatives executed me the first time, in seventy-five.
NICANOR: Of course. I forgot.
COLONEL: Blood never washes off. Even after a hundred years and six feet under, washed by the springs and streams. That's why I shot three of their . generals in seventy-nine and they shot me again in eighty-four.
NICANOR: (Pointing to the back of the stage) I remember. It was over there.
COLONEL: (Slowly turning) Yes, over there.
NICANOR: I was hiding in that corner, where they used to keep the horses. I saw you. You looked pale.
COLONEL: I was afraid.
(An armed peasant enters. He is half-dead. The Colonel and Nicanor turn and fire on him. The entrance of this Peasant shakes their composure.)
MAJORDOMO: (Seeing the bullet-ridden corpse of the peasant) Benito! (He runs over to help him.)
(The President, Minister and Cardinal enter quickly.)
PRESIDENT: Shoot the bastards down. We must preserve the purity of the family.
MINISTER: The crisis has even reached the capital. We must show no mercy to people taking advantage of these times.
CARDINAL: Pax vobis. Away with the devils.
4TH WOMAN: Out with the intruders and the bastards.
1ST.WOMAN: There must be no compassion for the scum.
2ND WOMAN: The house must not be tainted.

204

3RD WOMAN: Don't look at me, you wretches.
PRESIDENT: I have declared a state of public disorder.
(Tense pause. The Cardinal, the Minister and the President seem to be watching the boundaries of the estate. The Women seem to be on the point of a new confrontation amongst themselves.)
MAJORDOMO: The good days are over, my illustrious General Belarmino.
NICANOR: Yes, they are. We've been deceiving her these last few years.
MAJORDOMO: She still believes the estate has no boundaries. She still talks of her peasants.
NICANOR: It's as if she thought we still had the power of life and death of the peasants.
COLONEL: And we have.
NICANOR: I control the peasants. I know them.
MAJORDOMO: I haven't been so afraid since the time of the troubles. How lucky she is not to know what's going on.
COLONEL: This is no time for tears. We must take control of the situation.
NICANOR: One day when you were with the rebels, she got down behind,, the stove to wait for you, with her old carbine.
COLONEL: Ah! heroic days.
NICANOR: "Here comes that son-of-bitch, Belarmino", she shouted. "He're Ke, comes leading his Liberals, his atheists, his masons, his radicals, his niggers, ' (Belarmino starts to laugh,) his half-breeds, his whole rabble. Come closer, t you bastard son, you renegade. Come closer, you outlaw against the Motherhood, against God, against property, agains(t your own heritage." And - pow! - she fired. (They both burst our laughing and embrace one anothei At that moment the Minister, the President and the Cardinal turn towards them.)
MINISTER: The rebels are an affront to our dignity. Nothing is safe. A vulture scratched His Eminence's face. What will become of the country if this area is given over to ignorance?

p205

4TH WOMAN: The blessing, Your Eminence. (The Cardinal raises his hand. Women moan, huddled together. The Cardinal blesses them.)
CARDINAL: There are many levels of sacrilege.
NICANOR: (To the Minister) Tobias.
MINISTER: (Shaking the newspaper) Look at the news. The cities are threatened. Terror is spreading through the capital.
RESIDENT: I've got the country under my control. Let there be no
NICANOR: We're not living in the past.
MINISTER: But have you taken the necessary measures?
NICANOR: I've had to.
CARDINAL: But our mother hasn't expressed her last wish.
PRESIDENT: Has she said anything?
NICANOR: She doesn't talk anymore.
MINISTER: She's not going to talk again. She'll collapse in silence. I know her.
NICANOR: Her last words will be important. At least for future generations.
MINISTER: The future generations can go and stuff themselves. (He goes over to the Women.) Asuncion.
4TH WOMAN: Tobias. (They embrace and she weeps on his shoulder.)
CARDINAL: The peasants are good people; they are far from the corruption I of the cities and close to God.
NICANOR: Nepomucemo. (He goes to embrace him. The Cardinal offers him las hand. Nicanor kneels awkwardly and kisses his ring. The Majordomo does the same.) What should I call you?

p206

CARDINAL: Eminence.
1ST WOMAN: We're orphans.
MINISTER: We're being swamped with trouble.
MAJORDOMO: Aren't you "Your Holiness"?
CARDINAL: Not yet.
MINISTER: (To 2nd Woman) Purification. (The 2nd Woman looks at'him intensely, as if she were about to attack him.)
NICANOR: But Your Holiness will come to the burial?
CARDINAL: That is yet to be decided.
2ND WOMAN: (Throwing herself hysterically at the Minister) I don't want to be dead! I don't want to be dead! I don't want to be dead! (The 3rd Woman seizes hold of her.)
4TH WOMAN: Purification!
1ST WOMAN: Control yourself!
4TH WOMAN: You must be honourable to the death.
2ND WOMAN: (Shouting) I don't want to be honourable to the death. (Nicanor goes up to her and slaps her face. The Cardinal pulls Nicanor back They all fall back.)
CARDINAL: Devil, leave this woman. Vade retro, Satan. (The 2nd Woman staggers from one to the other as if seeking support. But all of them move
away as if she were a leper and she finally falls to the ground. The Minister shows the newspaper to the Women.)
4TH WOMAN: Her picture.
1ST WOMAN: Show me.
3RD WOMAN: Let me see. (They press forward to look at the paper.)
COLONEL: No-one knows from which side the enemy is going to attack.

p207

PRESIDENT: Your Eminence.
CARDINAL: Mr. President. (They embrace.)
4 JTH WOMAN: She's lovely.
3RD WOMAN: Beautiful.
PRESIDENT: Here, in the face of imminent disaster, we are but her children.
CARDINAL: And the guardians of her memory.
PRESIDENT: That memory can be stained.
CARDINAL: Destroyed.
COLONEL: Strangers will not be allowed to touch a hair on her head.
CARDINAL: And the relatives will have to be careful.
4TH WOMAN: No-one is such a mixture of youth and age, of freshness and oputrefaction, of sweet and foul smells, of gentleness and power. (At that
moment the doll emits a noise like a rattle in the throat, wind or a belch- it 'Jsnot clear which - and sways as if about to fall. Everyone looks on, startled, ' but ready to move towards her if she falls.)
COLONEL: No-one move. Men! (The Soldiers shout their readiness.)
CARDINAL: Requiem eternam dona ei, Domine.
ALL: (Looking aggressively at the doll, pressed close to one another.) Et lux perpetua luceat ei.
PRESIDENT: We must keep calm.
MINISTER: V/hat a stink!
NICANOR: You could smell it 50 miles away.
COLONEL: I've had the estate surrounded.
MAJORDOMO: They've killed good, loyal people.
NICANOR: Unavoidable.

p208

PRESIDENT: Unavoidable.
CARDINAL: Thou shalt not kill. (Silence. Another noise from the doll. The Women scream, the doll sways and all turn to one another.)
HI COLONEL: Stay where you are. Men! (The soldiers shout.)
PRESIDENT: Order, order.
MINISTER: Keep calm, keep composed.
(The doll sways violently, and descends to fust above their heads. They all move back.)
PRESIDENT: Colonel Belarmino. Save the country.
(The Colonel draws his sword and the doll falls to the ground. They all fall on her like birds of prey, they tear at her, they pull ot her entrails, tug off her limbs, seize her jewels. Some of the servants come running in and are ' murdered by the soldiers.)
MAJORDOMO: Don't kill that one, he's my son. Or that one, he's my brother. (One of the soldiers kills the Majordomo.)
4TH WOMAN: Only the legitimate ones.
3RD WOMAN: Only those who have a right.
NICANOR: Get away, away from here you squawking chickens. (He frightens them away as if they were buzzards. The Women try to resist but finally they move back.)
CARDINAL: The burial.
MINISTER: The burial.
PRESIDENT: Order, order. The burial.
CARDINAL: De profundis clamo ad te, Domine, Domine audi vocem meam. Requiem eternam dona ei, Domine.
ALL: Et lux perpetua luceat ei.

p209

(They try to put the broken doll together again.)

COLONEL: Soldier. Keep watch. On the alert. On the alert.
NICANOR: We're in grave danger.
RESIDENT: People are being struck down by disasters.
MINISTER: Disasters as inevitable as earthquakes.
(With the remains of the doll now in a coffin, the Cardinal, repeating the "De Profundis", goes to the head of the procession. The coffin is carried to the
back of the stage and they perform the burial rite when the Women clean up the mess.)
4TH WOMAN: {To the 3rd Woman, pointing to the body of the Majordomo.) Take it away. (The 3rd Woman does so. The 1st and 2nd Women drag away the others.)
PRESIDENT: The blood must be washed away.
4TH WOMAN: (To the Majordomo) Wash away the blood. (TheMajordomo does so.)
MINISTER: It was a fine funeral.
NICANOR: But the danger isn't over.
CARDINAL: A fitting funeral for our mother.
NICANOR: There are more buzzards around than there were.
PRESIDENT: The destiny of the nation lies in my hands.
MINISTER: Now it's up to us to act. (Looking atNicanor.) Let every man ask himself if he did his duty.
NICANOR: What a stench. It stinks worse than before. (To theMajordomo) Soak my handkerchief in eau-de-cologne.
MINISTER: And mine.
PRESIDENT: And mine.

p210

CARDINAL: And mine.
4TH WOMAN: And mine.
NICANOR: Turn up the fumigators. Let everything smell of balsam, of myrrh, of incense.
CARDINAL: May peace be with us.
NICANOR: Let everything he buried.
PRESIDENT: Hate.
MINISTER: Discord. {Pause. Cardinal goes over to the Women to lead the prayers.)
CARDINAL: Kyrie eleison.
WOMEN: Christe eleison.
CARDINAL: Pater noster. .. (They continue with the Lord's prayer jn low voices.)
PRESIDENT: (To Colonel) I'm sorry to have to say this, but you're the one who stinks now.
COLONEL: Me? I hate having to say so, but actually it's you.
PRESIDENT: (To Minister) And you too.
MINISTER: The one who stinks now is you, I'm afraid.
CARDINAL: (To Minister) No it's not, it's you. (Goes on praying.)
MINISTER: It's you.
4TH WOMAN: It's all of you.
PRESIDENT: The smell's coming from over there. (Points to the Group of Women.)
2ND WOMAN: It's coming from over there. (Points to the Men.)
1ST WOMAN: But you smell, too.
2ND WOMAN: So do you.
1ST WOMAN: (To 2nd Woman) You stink.
4TH WOMAN: You all stink.
(Majordomo enters with a tray full of handkerchiefs. They all rush md to take one.)
PRESIDENT: What a relief.
MINISTER: That's better.
NICANOR: We're still in grave danger.
CARDINAL: But meanwhile at least we can breathe.
4TH WOMAN: We can breathe.
MINISTER: We can breathe.
PRESIDENT: We can breathe.
1ST WOMAN: We can breathe.
2ND WOMAN: We can breathe.

(ALL breathe a great sign of relief.)

CURTAIN